i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
