Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You're like the curious george of whores
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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