can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
