didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
