But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
