She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
