i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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