C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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