Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My life is pants optional.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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