remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
