Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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