...so i touched it.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
