I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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