she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
