does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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