gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
