the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
