come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
