I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
