We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
