wrigley field is MILF paradise
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
