Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
