I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This can only be settled by a dance off.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
