Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
