Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
