I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
