How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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