I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
