So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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