I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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