haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Randomize
