I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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