halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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