SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
