You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
