addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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