I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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