is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
