it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
