Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
