did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
