Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
