i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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