I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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