I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
