Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
