I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
