I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
