Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
