so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
