Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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