does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
