shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
